I've been thinking of you the entire day,
thinking of you wanting to marry her.
that her, it should have been me.

im no longer your special girl, am i?

If you're planning to marry her after ORD, go ahead.
should have known i didnt mean a thing to you at all.
your love can shift to someone else in such a short time.

dont know what else to say but, good for you.

i thought you wanted to see me as much as i wanted to see you.
i thought.
thought.
THOUGHT.

Yesterday when you asked me,
"Are we really gonna stop contacting after this weekend? I dont want ley."

You know when you said that, how much it hurt me?
i wanted to tell you i still wanna meet you, i will miss you, i dont want you to leave.
I WANT YOU BACK.

but...... you chose her over me.
and knowing this kills me over and over again everyday.

The texts you sent me today.....
they really made me THINK, and made my mind go haywire.

i never knew losing you could cause me so much pain.
i've never felt this way before.

How much cheaper can i be?

It's like i cant feel a thing wihout you around.

Dearest, i feel so miserable, having to share you with someone else.
Or should i say, losing you to her.

Sucks to meet you like a mouse, afraid of being seen by people.
Hurts to know you're with her, and i cannot do anything but cry to myself every night.
Ashamed to be a third party, but do i have a choice?
No.
cos it's the only way i can meet you, and have some short-lived happiness.

I feel........
like giving up on everything.

Today my auntie told me,
if you really love me you would leave the girl for me, and not come back when things dont work out for the both of you.
i thought about it for a long time, and i think i agree.

I used to take you for granted, thinking that you would never leave.
And when you left, i found myself regretting and dying to have you back.

& the thing is, which i keep asking myself repeatedly, if you love me and im so awesome, why'd you wanna leave?
now that i recall, you said you wanted a break cos you were guilty you went to geylang.
you asked me to wait for you, you promised you'll be back when you've sorted out your thoughts.

Baby, i just want a second chance.
To start over and do things the right way.

You know i hate waiting, and you made me wait for your text the entire day.

what am i to you, exactly?

Everytime after meeting you, i count down to the next time i'll be seeing you.
&then i realize how much i took you for granted in the past,
cos now whatever little time i have with you i'll be so so contented.

i'd do anything to turn back the clock. ),:

I miss you. I miss us. I know i shouldnt but i just want you back so much.
How could you be so selfish.
You said the hororscope wasnt true, rmb?
You told me to have faith and trust that you would be loyal to me.

Yet, you left.
and seeing the both of you makes me wanna die everyday.

WHY THE FUCK HAVE THINGS BECOME LIKE THIS. im going insane.

I feel, like you....
dont wanna be seen with me.
dont want people to know you're with me.
dont want to lose her more than you you wanna lose me.

wrong. you would choose to lose me anytime than to hurt her.
),:

i hate it this way,
but to choose between being hated, discriminated by everyone but still be in contact with you, knowing you still love me,

or to totally lose contact with you, and become depressional again, with no mood for anything and everything.

i would still choose to see you.

If you really love me like you said you did,
there wouldnt even be another option.

You would rather give up on the girl you claim to love alot than to leave someone whom you know for a few weeks.
What does she have that i dont to make you leave me for her?

There are so many things i do not understand,
but what i want to know most is,
why are you still choosing to leave when you still love me, and i still love you.

im not trying to come out as full of myself,
but i know exactly what ive done for you and how i feel towards you.
Ask yourself, would you be able to find another girl half as good as me?

I love it most when it's just the both of us, cos thats when the real you appears in front of me again.
my Baby Siddy whom i missed so much, made the sad worm feel happy again.
when we're outside, you're constantly afraid of bumping into people you know,
it makes me feel so... i dont know, unwanted.

But still, ive been so happy for the past 3 days,
and you dont have to worry, it shall be kept a secret.
i know you dont wanna let anyone know we were together.