Thursday is supposedly our first anniversary, and i stupidly thought it still meant something to you.
Looks like i was wrong, you dont actually bother.
Honestly, i was so so disappointed you thought nothing of it.
I thought everything about me and us were still important to you.
What a joke, i was so wrong.

Raising your voice at me on the bus just cos i wanted you to sit down with me, just cos i wanted a kiss from you?
You dont know how much that hurt me.

I dont know why, everytime i trust you entirely, i gotta find out something that's so heartbreaking.
& i actually thought you meant it when you said i was your special girl.
The delicate little creature whom you promised you would never bear to hurt, turned out to be the one whom you cheated and lied to the most.

And yettttt, i cant bring myself to hate you.
WHY.
Why the freak do i still feel so happy seeing you-.-

& even after telling myself so many times, i must stop feeling for you, but the moment i see you,
i fall in love with you all over again!
Damn.

Hun, i really dont know what you want.
Please tell me.

You told me, she treat you really good.
Does that mean that im not nice to you?
Sigh.
I thought i did so much more than she did.
Sad huh.

And yesterday, for the second time, you kinda lost your temper at me.
Ask me to fuck off.
It's always because of her. Fuck.

Would you call her a slut and a fucking vixen?
Would you shout and scold her?
Would you ask her to fuck off from your life and stop clinging onto you?

NO. You wouldnt.
Still tell me what you feel for her isnt what you thought it was...
Sighhhhhh, what you told me at Timbre and your actions, they dont tally.
WHY LIKE THAT? ):

It's like, im the one who want to text you and meet you and call you.
Im the one who misses you, the one who wants you back, the one who didnt do anything yet am suffering.
Your texts are so short and cold now, even the way you talk to me is diffferent, it's like im nobody to you alr.
You're still my most important person, but i've degraded to become only like a spare to you.
You dont feel likewise for me already.
You're always busy with your own stuff, and you're still in contact with her.

When you told me you needed time off, i agreed, and you stopped contacting me and got together with someone else.
But when you told her you needed time off, she agreed too, only that you're still contacting and meeting her.

I dont know man, and i know i've got no say in this,
but i really feel damn fucked up, knowing that she has somewhat replaced me.
It's like.... You dont love me anymore.

My heart hurts. ),:

The difference between us now is that,
I put you in front of me, but you put yourself before me.

How i wish we could be happy together again like how we used to be.
I miss the boy who loved me more than anyone else ever could.

The past week i have been happy, but im hoping that you feel the same way too, and not cos you just wanted to escape the suffocation from her.

Faithfulness and Honesty.
They're what's most important.

You never fail to let me think and think.

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT?

DAMN ITTTTTTTTT, I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING BETTER BUT THEN I REALIZED YOU NEVER LEFT MY MIND-.-

MISS YOU LIKE HELLLLLLLL.

Sigh, just now someone used Hong's account to talk to me, dunno who it is.
Ask me if im finally letting Sid go.

Woahhhh, hear alr heart break.
And then i kept thinking and thinking for the whole evening.
It's not that im letting you go, it's lettin my friends think im gonna move on.

Truth is, i fucking miss you so so much !!!!
I wanna see you so badly but i know you wont wanna.
Plus, you're so happy now i know you've long gotten over me.
Needless to say, you hate me now.
Sad.

ILYSM IT'S KILLING ME.

and another thing i gotta make it clear to you,
the pregnant thing, I WASNT LYING TO YOU.
i only told you i wasnt because you said you were gonna tell my dad.
reverse psychology.
is you stupid, dont know me well enough, think im lying to you.
zzz.
and all the things i said i lied to you,
I WAS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.
I NEVER LIE TO YOU.
KAY!!!!

and tell that clueless girlfriend of yours,
BRUSH UP HER FUCKING ENGLISH BEFORE SHE WANNA TEXT ME LA OKAY.
AND UH, ASK HER DONT PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH.
I WILL NOT ADMIT WHAT I DID NOT SAY !
AND IF IM CHILDISH, WHAT IS HER?
SHE IS 22 HOR, THREATEN ME WITH HER LOUSY ENGLISH?
PLEASE, TELL HER TO HAVE SOME SOME STANDARD.

I think it's damn stupid of me to be feeling so sad over you while you're so happy with your life now.
You deliberately poked me on fb so i'll know you're back?
So i'll stalk you everyday?
So that i will feel so fucked up and miserable everyday?
How mean can you be, seriously.

You wanna marry her?
I shall see.
Dont have to act till so sweet let everyone see uh.
You used to do that with me and to think i actually believed every word you say.

Aaron tan, im throwing in the white towel.
Let me off.
I'm begging you.

Stupid me is hoping for the impossible.

Reality is that you've misunderstood me and hate me to the core now.

& no matter how i wanna explain to you, you'd still choose not to listen.

Just because you don't believe me, doesn't mean that I'm lying.

& please, stop being cruel to me.
You're killing me, thanks.

It's June.

A week since we last met.
A week ago i would be most looking forward for today to come cos it's finally June and we can meet.


But i just got reminded...
You told me you left me long ago, i was the one who keep clinging on to you.
And the reason why you're still meeting me is cos you pity me.

Im still tearing as im typing this, it hurts so much.
I honestly believed you without a doubt, that you still loved me, and you enjoyed being with me.
I cling on to you? So when you came to my place to find me and say that you wanted to see me, it was all fake.
We still make love, or to you its just having sex, cos im cheap.

& the most fucking disappointing thing is that you kinda misunderstood me.
Maybe i can talk to you after a few months,
or maybe i dont even need to explain to you cos you wouldnt give a fuck about me anymore.
Oh great, you already hate me now.
FML.

You leave me speechless.
Anyway, i hope you've recovered or you're feeling better already.
Been praying hard for you.